Great is Thy Faithfulness

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We’re still waiting for our finalized homestudy, but in the meantime, I am trying to “look forward” to the next steps and begin preparing what’s needed.  After the homestudy, we have to submit I-800 “Petition to Classify Adoptee as an Immediate Relative to the USCIS.  After we receive that approval (and a few other small pieces), we will be ready to submit the I-800 approval, homestudy, and all other documents to have them certified (state) and authenticated (national) before they are all sent as our “Dossier to China.”  THAT will be a huge day of celebration…

Part of the point of this blog is to share our journey, including the beauty and the ugly.  I have to admit that I’m currently feeling alot of ugly – frustration surrounding not only the adoption but the ongoing “fight” that is life in advocating and ensuring my girls have what they need to succeed and be healthy.  Not only has our homestudy been delayed due to some “overlooked” pieces that could have (should have) already been done, but I have also been at the school several days this week dealing with several different issues for both Laila and Maizey.  When one is already emotionally stressed, the last thing you want is to come home to the next bill from the adoption agency.  So, we “know” all the fees in advance.  We know what’s coming.  But just as you feel you are finally “getting somewhere” – there it is – the next HUGE mountain in front of you.  Plus, during an adoption, it seems every machine in the house and every vehicle suddenly reaches its end of life… Sometimes you can’t help but feel a little shattered after just a short moment celebrating one small step only to realize that financially and logistically you have a LOOONNNG way to go.  It is scary to step out financially.  Jason is working overtime, has taken on a second job, and I also am working (LuLaRoe from home), but making this adoption is a huge leap of faith, trusting that God will provide the opportunities and finances needed to bring Willow home.  In addition to all these frustrations, this week has also brought some hurtful disappointments in people and circumstances.  I usually manage all the complexities of our life fairly well and I’d say I manage decently a fair amount of stress and intense circumstances, but I have currently reached my max.

I found myself wandering through my day on Tuesday not sure where to start, totally overwhelmed with all the things I needed to do but also completely lost and lacking direction for exactly WHAT to do.  I decided it was a good day to give myself a minute to just let it be.  I got myself a coffee. I prayed.  I told God that I DID trust Him and that I DID have faith, so to help me ease this sense of being overwhelmed logistically and financially, to lay it at His feet.  As a do-do-doer, I want to DO for God and show Him how much I love Him…I struggle with stepping back and letting Him show His love for ME!…And OH how He shows up when you just step back.

Tuesday night a woman showed up on my doorstep.  We are friends but not close friends.  We keep tabs on each other but life has pulled us in different directions so we often say “hi” in passing.  She said, “God told me to give you this.”  And she handed me an envelope and walked away.  In that envelope was $1000!  She had NO idea the weight the day had brought or the blessing that envelope was in that moment, even greater than it would have been in any moment before or after.  But God did.  I am SO THANKFUL in this journey for people who LISTEN and DO what God says to!  They are God’s Voice to our hearts, our Reassurance on the hard days.  I truly feel that my heart’s call from God is to serve orphans with ALL of me.  Not just sometimes, not just today or for the children who are currently in our family, but indefinitely, wholly, unwaveringly.  Until HE (or if He ever) says otherwise.  Not the world, not my friends who think we’re “crazy,” not the well-meaning people who say we’ve done enough.

Helping an orphan takes a Community, not just a family.  Thank you Sweet Friend, for being my Community this week and for being God’s voice of reassurance that we are going to see through this adoption journey with people like you who listen to the Call on your heart!

“…morning by morning new mercies I see”